So this past Saturday afternoon I am with my buddy John and we are picking up a couple of T-bone steaks and some Guinness to head over to Kevin and Samantha's house for a early evening barbeque and followed by a night out on the town boozing & carousing.
This was once a regular thing for all of us on a Saturday however lately it definitely seems harder and harder to get the group together.
As I pulled into a parking stall at the mall, I look over and there is a police car parked in front of the donut shop just being hoisted onto a tow truck to be towed away.
I turn to John (who btw, is a policeman here in Calgary) and commented that I wish I had my camera with me as that would be just a hilarious picture.
"I don't get it." John replied dryly, looking quite serious. "What's so funny about a car being towed away?"
"It's hilarious." I responded laughingly. "A cop car in front of a donut shop being towed. Don't you get it. The car probably ran out of gas or something since the cops were inside eating & drinking for so long. It's a classic."
"That's ridiculous." John protested, sounding quite defensive. "We never leave our vehicles idling unattended and besides that, why do you assume the officers are in the donut shop to begin with, there is an entire mall here where they could be responding to a call. Anyway, I don't see any humour in someone's car breaking down. I don't recall seeing you laughing too much when your car was in the shop a few weeks back."
Noting that John did not seem to see the humour in this obvious comical situation, I abandoned my next remark which was to call them all 'donut eating, coffee swigging slackers', since my timing as well as Johns' mood just did not seem right today.
I attempted to change the subject but he was determined not to let it go.
"I am just sick of people making such general stereotypes about the force." John complained. "Every time someone see's an officer within 5 kilometres of a donut shop, they make some sort of statement that we are all going over there to gorge ourselves up with coffee & pastries. It is so annoying. They don't see us out here day in and day out risking our lives just to keep the peace. I am surprised you even made such a derogatory statement as that."
"Okay, Okay, I get it." I responded attempting to calm him down. "I'll stop making general stereotypes about your buddies. At least for today anyway, if it will just shut you up."
With that we entered the mall with me changing the subject as to calculating the number of beers we would both require to tide us over from the time we arrived at Kevin's place, through dinner & to the time we actually get to the pub & have a fresh pint in my hand. Surprisingly, it was quite a complex algorithm. By the way, the correct number for the both of us was 12, if any of you were interested.
We had picked up a couple of pretty good sized T-bone steaks and then were just coming out of the liquor store with bags in hand, when I noticed two huge cops in the mall coming towards us.
"Rob, Tony, how the Hell are you?" John yelled out towards them. Evidently they all knew one another.
After brief introductions, Tony advised us that it was actually their car that was being towed back to the police garage downtown.
"The damn starter is dead." Tony proclaimed sounding extremely annoyed. "We were here just writing up a report over at the food court and the car wouldn't turn over. We called it in and Billy & Mike are coming over to pick us up and take us back to the lot for a new vehicle. The whole thing is a royal pain in the ass."
"That's bad luck guys." John replied empathetically. "How about we keep you company till Mike and Billy show up? Let's grab something to drink and sit down."
With that we all headed into the donut shop and piled into one of the well-worn booths.
It seemed quite obvious that these two cops were not entirely unfamiliar with the inside of this donut shop. In fact, as we sat down Rob yelled over to the waitress "Hey Nancy, your two favourite customers are back again."
Despite the overwhelming evidence, I told myself to reserve judgement on this fact since I did not want to jump to conclusions and receive yet another tongue-lashing as I had received earlier.
The grizzled old waitress strolled around the counter and made a slow & determined beeline for our booth.
"I thought all the big tippers were gone for the afternoon." Waitress Nancy quipped in a gravely voice that sounded like she has smoked about 2 packs a day for her entire life. "What can I get for all you fellas?"
Myself and John each ordered a large coffee and then the ironic occurred. I use the word ironic since this happened so quickly after I was forced to listen to Johns' earlier annoying tirade.
Nancy asked Rob what he wanted and the response was "Give me a large cup of coffee and three of those delicious Honey Glazed donuts of yours."
When it was Tony's turn it was "I'll have a Coke and 2 of the Double Chocolate, One Plain and one eclair."
He then looked over at Rob and asked "We probably should get some for Mike & Billy. They'll be mighty pissed if we forget about them."
Turning to the jaded & somewhat haggard Nancy, Tony proceeded to order a dozen assorted donuts 'to go'.
I just couldn't stop smiling at the amusing scenario which played out in front of me. Finally I couldn't keep it inside any further.
"So John." I asked, ever so non-chalantly. "What were we talking about earlier in the parking lot today? I really can't remember, can you?"
John looked extremely uncomfortable at my comment and just glared at me with a faint smile. "Just shut man and drink your coffee." He directed.
I slowly leaned back in the booth with a very smug look on my face, sipping the coffee which suddenly tasted especially good.