Phasers on Stun

After four full long days of endless business meetings & some pretty crappy hotel food, I was quite excited to head back home to Calgary, albeit only for this weekend as I am expected to return to Toronto again next week for more of the same.

Arriving at the airport rather early, I immediately check in my bags and wandered around for a bit, waiting for my flight to be announced.

Now this is definitely not a pastime I would recommend as a person can only meander around, drink coffee and read the newspaper so many times before beginning to go a little stir crazy.

Picking up the paper for like the millionth time, I spot an interesting news story about folks being robbed while waiting in line to get the much sought after Sony Playstation 3.

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel. It is ingenious. Think about it.

These pencil neck geek gamers who spend every waking hour of their miserable and misbegotten existence in front of a monitor playing video games, finally have to go outside and emerge from their dark cold existence to brave the real world & spend their petty savings on the next latest and greatest machine.

These individuals are very easy to spot once they are out of their natural habitat (undoubtedly that being their parents basement) as their combined muscle mass is probable equivalent to a small Chihuahua or Pomeranian and they are extremely pasty white in appearance - much like that of a leper.

So here they all are lining up in front of some Walmart store at 3 AM on a very cold November morning, dressed in either their Spiderman or Star Trek pyjamas, when a couple of robbers arrive on the scene.

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel

Now these robbers are not the usual variety of mindless idiots, no way. These ones are pretty damn intelligent since they have put some thought into their quest and know that there is absolutely no way anyone in the line will put up a fight of any kind when confronted.

They are also aware that the majority of them have at least $500 in cash on them since these geeks are a super paranoid bunch where owning a credit card is like demanding your identity be stolen. I mean after all, the nerd discussion board continually warns of the dangers of credit cards and identity theft for months, it is undoubtedly a 'sticky post'.

I can just picture these robbers just sauntering up to the first nerd in line unarmed, and just demanding his wallet which is immediately handed over, no questions asked.

As they pick up Joe Nerd to shake out any extra hidden cash he may still have, a deafening squeal emanates from him much like the high pitch tone of a small toy poodle.

"Spock, Spock Help me." He pleads whiningly, looking behind him at the other nerds in the line-up for some kind of assistance. "Spock, give them your Vulcan Death Grip."

Of course none of the other nerds will assist poor feeble Joe and they all look down at their wool slippers refusing to even make any eye contact for fear they may be next.

Joe Nerd finally realizes that there is no Spock to assist him, so he immediately cries out for his next brave senior officer, that of course being Number One.

Sadly, the only Number One that he is going to be seeing on this cold unfortunate night is the one he has just performed in his wet pyjamas due to extreme fear.

C'mon it's funny. We are all thinking it. Just admit it !

The only thing sad about this entire hypothetical story is that in reading over the above, I seem to have way too much conversational knowledge about the Star Trek series and its' characters.

Now that is quite unsettling for me and kind of a little sad.

Damn, I wish this flight would board as now I really need a drink.

15 comments:

youngbrews said...

Waiting in line with 600 bucks in your pocket in the wee hours of the morning...

That's just asking to be robbed.

Blueyes said...

LOL they should invest in something called a debit card...acts like a credit card but takes the money out of your checking account.

Jordan said...

"Wallett Inspector." "Ah here you go." "Here's mine." "I believe those are all in order." "Dude I can't believe that worked."

jbwritergirl said...

Brilliant theory. Perfect place for a crime. Give me your wallet and no one gets hurt. Maybe, but I think anyone willing to get up at 3 in the morning to wait for the highly desire play system would be more than willing to kick someones ass in order to keep their money. LOL
JB

cherylann said...

Shouldn't they have something better to do with their time? Thanks for this post that really cracked me up though. hahaha.

Dave Dragon said...

Great blog, too funny.

Thanks for the chuckle.

-Dave Dragon
http://davedragon.blogspot.com

Rob said...

blueyes - but if they use a debit card then it's their money that gets stolen if the card gets duplicated and not the banks therefore they actually stand to lose out.

I wouldn't be awake at the times they'd be queuing up but kudos to the thief that saw rich pickings and took them!

Leon said...

ha ha ha ..... sexy shit i never did think of it in this manner

Doctor Mom said...

My favorite is the guy chillin' with the splint on his leg. Probably fell off the couch playing with his joy stick.

We also had a vote on this in Cul-de-Sac, they got a few votes for Idiot of the Week, but OJ beat them out... we still aren't clear if the true idiots were the ones in line or the ones who shot the ones in line... toss up really.

Hey, Thanks for renting to us this week.... it was getting cold outside.

Please take a drive through our blog... we have a few traditions in Cul-de-Sac.

Tuesday we will post Cul-de-Sac stats and "All I Never Wanted for Christmas: Part III"

Wordless Wednesday (usually held on Wednesday) Come by and create a caption

Thursday and Friday we post nominees for Idiot of the Week

Friday thru Sunday we vote for Idiot of the Week.

We're looking forward to our First Annual Idiot of the Year Awards Ceremony in December.

Stop by-- we have a lot of laughs!

Lex Luthor said...

That is a good way to rob a bunch of kids. But if they are the nerds I hope they are, then they will be using only a debit card or $ 500 in Lex Luthor cash. Just send me $400.00 US and get $500.00 Lex Luthor notes. Perfect for Christmas. What's in your wallet?

JerseyTjej said...

DAMN! Why didn't I think of that!?
Do you have any effing idea how many lines I have stood in for Pokeman, Spiderman and Barbie 4000?

The killer for me was Furby. I have never done another line since...cold turkey!

Gabriela said...

I find geeks quite interesting. hehehe. Anyways, thanks for renting my blog this week, I hope you enjoy your stay. I don't have much traffic myself, but I'll share it with you. =)

XoXo
Gaby

cube said...

You do have much Trek knowledge at your disposal... ;-)

Pandabonium said...

Great stuff. Thanks.

Chris said...

I think it is funny because they learn that strong arm robbery isn't all fun and games like it is cracked up to be on Grand Theft Auto!

Chris
My Blog

Post a Comment