My good mood ended shortly after arriving at my so-called 'renovated apartment' to find that although I had new flooring, painting and cabinets throughout, all of my furniture was stacked in the corner of each room, apparently just waiting for me to return in order to put everything back where it was when I left.
I was too bushed to go downstairs and start yelling at Mr. Harris, the Building Manager, as I knew he would no doubt be not too empathetic to my plight. As such, I have spent the last day putting everything back where I had it originally.
I have quite a few stories to share about the last couple weeks in Toronto, however between the travelling and all the furniture moving I am now too exhausted to begin.
To compensate for my slackness this week, I will share with you an email that my Dad sent me when I was in Toronto.
It is a somewhat humorous story about a Genie that Dad found somewhere on the internet and forwarded to me and all of his crazy elderly buddies. It is nice to know I am in such good company.
I cannot say for sure where Dad "borrowed" this little story as he never admits to where he gets any of his material. My apologies in advance if this is someone's published work or if you don't find it a little funny.
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A very tall, gorgeous, well built black man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, No apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "What's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding" he said laughing, "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?