I'll Find Another


Dick
(Pronunciation: \'dik\) - a contemptible person that no one likes due to their asinine & self-serving behaviour. Sometimes also referred to as a Dickhead.



I am a man who enjoys surfing the net and reading blogs that will either entertain or educate me on pretty much any topic around, depending on my current mood.

As I was surfing the internet over a few Guinness the other day, I got to thinking about some of the things which I come across that annoys me on a regular basis when I visit some blogs.

Now I definitely don't want anyone reading this to think that I am claiming to be some kind of expert in blogging, far from it. My regular readers will vouch for me on that point as I can barely throw a few orderly & rational words together each week to make up a sober and coherent entry.

No this is a list of things, which I have undoubtedly written about in the past, that some bloggers continue to do intentionally and without shame, either just to annoy their visitors or because they are Dicks.

Let me know if I missed any in my list below.


Signs to tell that you may just be a Dick:
  • If I have to scroll down your entire site to the very bottom of the page just to click on your stupid EC widget, you may just be a Dick. We all know I'm way too lazy for such crap.
  • If music or video starts up automatically when I arrive on your site. Actually I am wrong here, there is no 'may' in this one, you definitely ARE a Dick.
  • If you have a sign on your site pleading for people to comment on your posts like a common beggar on the street. People hate needy whiners. They also hate Dicks.
  • If you have more advertisements on your blog then you have actual real content. You're not fooling anyone so just open up a store and get off the internet, Dick.
  • If you have no spell checking. Whether English is your first language or not, the most annoying thing to read is a blog riddled with spelling errors. You lose all credibility. So maybe find time to download a spell checker Dick.
  • If you have a 'Make Money Fast secrets' blog. I'll break the news to you here & now. There is no such thing, otherwise the Dick who was writing it would be making money instead of writing to us about it. The only reason they are writing is undoubtedly to recruit you to do something to make them even more money.
  • If you are begging on your site for donations, even in the guise of buying you a beer or a coffee. I'll give you a tip right now - stop begging like a dog at the table, Dick.
  • If you give someone an award which is nothing more than a internet chain letter by asking people to pass it on to 7 million other people. This is simply ridiculous and you're a Dick.
  • If you have fake contests. Holding a contest that requires the entrant to do multiple steps such as: fill out forms, creating a post about your crappy contest, recruiting 5 friends, comment on the contest, displaying logos, etc. Either you want to give something away or you don't. Don't be a Dick and make it simple
  • If you have on your blog a sea of clutter of widgets, ads, weather, pictures and everything else. Try and save a little space for actual writing content because after all, that is what a blog is about - Dick!



And last but not least, if you are someone who clearly knows nothing at all & writes a blog entry calling other people Dicks, there is a pretty good chance that you too may also be a Dick!

Cheers!

46 comments:

Grandad said...

What about blogs that are written by people called Richard?

Leslie Johnson said...

You forgot one: If you are from Singapore and have a post for each day of your life, all of which feature a picture of what you ate during that day you are a dick. No one cares about your noodles and fish biscuits.

Kilandra said...

*laughs* Okay, that was amusing, and I admit, I am guilty of a little bit of that (mainly having a widgit that shows where people came from that makes it load a tad bit slower than it normally would) but damn! Right on the head there with most of those, and I just happened to blog a bit about the scavenger hunt for EC drops the other day! Thanks for making me laugh, needed it! :D

Laura said...

You are so funny! Great wisdom on not being a dick or in my case a dicket!

Beamer said...

There is also the Blogs that are telling you how to blog when they have been blogging for 2 days.

I Love those - Not.

Beamer

reojames said...

I was sweating as I read your list! Luckily, I think I made it through without being harmed.
Funny, TRUE stuff! Especially the one about MUSIC AND VIDEO! I freakin' hate that.

Technomedico said...

Very humorous and amusing!!!!!!
Your writing style is great

discotrash said...

god i hate the automatic music thing. just makes me want to punch a baby

Amy said...

Music, ads (adsense, pay-to-post, adbright, etc), download links, nothing but politics, heavy swearing, right click blocked (If I want to open a link in a seperate window, I should be able to.) I also am bugged by annoying colors, heavy graphic use and blogs that require flash or some other add-on to view.

And lastly big popups that say "Vote for me"

I admit to being guilty of some of these in the past but I learned from my mistakes. (Still got coding tricks to learn)

melai said...

Lol! I like the last part :) Dick!
I might download a spell checker myself..thanks for the suggestion :p

chorva said...

that made me laugh hard!
i'm actually guilty of some in the list (awards and ads) but i realized that yeah it's like a chain letter for blogs so i don't participate in that anymore. regarding ads, i'm not sure i'll give them up soon because i earn from them. so i guess that makes me a dick. hahaha!

Roxiticus Desperate Housewives said...

Rolling onto the floor and hanging onto my....oh, that's right, I'm a girl.

Roxy

Private EYE said...

I love your blog! I hope that I am not a Dick LOL because I may be guilty of one or two of these. But I am a new blogger so i have an excuse! :)

ImitationAngel said...

I had a great laugh at that one. Pretty intense list but I'm sure most people have done at least one of the things on that list. Like private eye I'm new as well so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol.

Lynn said...

This is really funny! Can't help laughing. Some of the comments are funny too like the one from discotrash. Lol.

The Hawg said...

Guilty -- I pass on awards like crazy. You may, however, have a point.

And you're right on on most of these. The "get rich blogging" junk and music, videos and whatever else that start as soon as the page loads particularly make me mad as hell.

Jazzy said...

This post was not only humorous but TRUE~

[dB] said...

Very humorous and amusing!!!!!!

fdask said...

I agree with all of these points. Does that make me a dick? Or perhaps just a dick supporter. :so confused:

Leslie said...

lol i snorted a little. *golf clap* another post executed perfectly.

Jena Isle said...

I was smiling while reading this because I'm guilty of some... posting many widgets in my site.

This would be a good end to my day...I am a dicken???he he he.

Cheers.

Nameless Blogger said...

Well I'm a dick cuz I don't have enough EC credits to advertise here. Funny stuff.

Off to buy a spell checker. Damn you caught me!

Ms. O. D. said...

i'm giving you an award... not now, later. :P

Ian said...

Very good list, and I'm almost 100% in agreement with you on it.

Wayne said...

Oh so true. Don't be a dick with a dickish blog.

Hell, hope you like mine for fuck's sake. lol

HalfBeard said...

Hilarious...........

jerseytjej said...

You almost made me spit out my lovely white Rhine, which incidentally, is NOT in a box, which means limited supply...So,. I guess I am a dick(a)

Ailecgee said...

Am learning lots of new vocabulary from this blog.

Btw, thanks for placing advert on my site. I will link you. I hope you'll do the same.

http://beng-gee.blogspot.com
http://ailecgee.i.ph

Morganna said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!! HAHHA! I love that! Now, I'm a dick on my myspace page, we can be dicks around our friends after all! But ooooooh, I hate blogs that do that! LOL, yep, they are dicks.

Your blog post was hilarious! I almost busted out my O ring! LOL!

John said...

I notice it's a certain group of people that is obsessed with having music play. I won't get into it, but it's pretty easy to figure out.

And Firefox automatically spell checks whatever you're typing. Grammar on the other hand....

lala said...

Gee, I'm guilty of a few of those...but please, refer to me as Ms. Bitch (as I don't possess a dick)

still, funny but true (the music thing is most annoying.)

;-)

Chandira said...

Only guilty of one or 2 of those.. The Entrecard one, as I have too many other widgets..

Thanks for the laugh.

I also hate that 'buy me a beer' thing! I don't buy random strangers beers in a bar, so why should I buy you one on line? Bah.

Varun said...

thank god I'm not a dickhead.As per your list anyway :P

constant adverts,popups,music and begging for comments and money,signs of a dick.

One thing I disagree is the placement of the EC widget.I wouldn't blame someone for trying to expect you to read atleast some posts before dropping an EC and pocketing a credit.Sure it annoys the hell out of me,but somewhere after the 3rd and 4th post should be fine.If I'm on a dropping spree I use PGDN anyways :)

Missy said...

lol

LIFE,MARRIAGE AND KIDS said...

it got me thinking if i'm a dick to,lol...

dcolthar said...

haha funny post

My Xbox 360 blog
http://360gamersparadise.blogspot.com

Beadsme said...

Hahahaha like it.

nonsense said...

Very Funny indeed!! Njyed reading the post.

Bill said...

very fun your blog is...best regards Bill

cube said...

funny post, but don't let it go to your head otherwise you might become a... nevermind.

Robin said...

Most annoying for me are blogs where you have to look for actual content through the ads.

This is my first time reading your blog - some great stuff and I like your style.

Cheers!

newdrive@gmail.com said...

Great list.

Shea said...

don't we all

chris said...

wow, great list. i had a list like that floating around my head a little earlier and am glad i saw yours as i now won't waste my time.

a pet peeve of mine are the blogs that give you a paragraph and then make you click a link to read the rest. half the time it's not much more than a second paragraph.

GumbyTheCat said...

All I can say is... Awesome. LMAO.

davinci said...

I felt myself saying these things as I was reading them. Nice list!

Post a Comment