The 40-year-old lesbian activist, who is the only child of Sonny & Cher, is already taking hormone shots and is on her way to becoming a male.
"Well good for him, Chaz is a person of true conviction." Sis said, as she put down the gossip rag, which she undoubtedly considers as being great literature.
"Why are your referring to HER as a HIM? And also what do you mean 'good for him', it's bloody digusting if you ask me. " I replied, once again flabbergasted at my slow-witted sisters stupid opinions.
"There's nothing disgusting about it." Sis responded defiantly. "Chaz has lived his entire life as a gay woman and this is simply a natural progression."
"Natural" I retorted loudly. "There is nothing natural about having some freak surgery and taking drugs in order to change your gender. And while we are on the subject, why are you calling her Chaz, that's a guys name?"
"That's the name he goes by now as after the hormone therapy and operation he will soon be a man." Sis responded, actually believing the nonsense she had just read.
I stared at her for a moment in silence without responding further to her last comment. "Am I even related to this complete moron", was all I could think of.
I then looked over at Dad who was completely absorbed with his newspaper and clearly not listening to our conversation. Finally I spoke.
"Closer to Frankenstein's monster than a man" I began. "Just because she is no longer 'strapping it on' but rather having IT either 'sewn on', 'glued on' or however the HELL they do it these days does not suddenly make her a man in any sense of the term. The entire society is going crazy with things these days, everybody doing whatever they want. It's against nature."
"HAHA" Sis responded in her usual childish and annoying manner. "Your views are so completely outdated, now you are really sounding like Dad."
Finally my father's newspaper folded up with a loud noise and Dad placed it on the side table. The last comment obviously got his attention.
"What are you two going on about now?" Dad demanded. "And what do you mean my views are outdated?"
I quickly recounted the story which I have outlined above, knowing for sure Dad would certainly side with me on such a controversial topic.
"Yes, I recall reading about this just the other day." Dad observed. "That sweet little girl was on her parents TV program each week."
" The parents looked like long-haired drug addicts. Probably is the cause for this poor child's mental problems now. Didn't raise her right. Of course I never watched the program much, but your mother enjoyed it at the time. As for me I couldn't tell which one was the husband and which one was the wife. Give me Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin any day over those two drug addicts. I'd wager nothing much ever became of any of them."
"There is nothing wrong with him now." Sis responded angrily. "Chaz is not mental, this is a personal choice and I support him."
"It's not natural" was all Dad replied as he once again picked up his newspaper that indicated he had now lost interest in the topic of conversation and would no longer participate.
"See, I told you." Sis began. "Dad responded exactly as you did. He even used the same phrase. You two are identical."
"We may be identical" I replied quickly. "But more importantly, we are both correct. It is unnatural what SHE is doing to HERself."
I then turned to Dad and joked. "Can you imagine them doing that in any of those old westerns you watch. Strapping on some kind of sick, perverted device and then doing their filthy 'acts' to one another."
Dad once again put down the paper.
"As I recall, the only thing 'The Duke' - John Wayne ever strapped on was a six-shooter." Dad replied, chuckling aloud. "But when he did, he really meant business and wasn't shooting any blanks, let me tell you."
Both Dad and myself then roared out with laughter as Sis slowly slinked out of the room, shaking her head in disgust.
She is such a foolish girl.