Yo Ho Ho & a Bottle of Rum

So its been kind of humorous around my 8 year old nephew Mikey lately. It seems him and his small group of friends are going through what I can only describe as being a 'pirate phase' where they dress up and perpetually talk like pirates using a lot of terms such as 'Aaarghs' and 'Scurvy dogs' and 'Shiver me timbers!'.

The back yard of my sisters' house has virtually been transformed into a pirate ship made from discarded cardboard boxes and bricks and adorned with the old Jolly Roger 'skull and crossbones' pirate flag where the kids run around with toy swords, eye-patches and play pirate games for hours on end.

When I dropped over there briefly last Saturday morning and observed all this, I noticed all the kids were having a great time and being the popular Uncle that clearly I am known to be, I told the kids about 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' which is celebrated every September 19. (click Here for Wiki)

I remember years ago When I was a little kid, all my friends and myself would also play pirate and really enjoyed it. Which makes me very knowledgeable on the subject even to this day.

I mean we all love pirates at any age. I know I still do. Who cannot like wild buccaneers from the 17th century with a sense of high adventure, drinking grog and 'having' wenches, lots of buxom wenches.

Of course unfortunately in these modern times the pirate today no longer is looked upon with having any of these attributes that we all know and love.

No, the modern day pirates of today are nothing more than a bunch of dirty thieving cowards from Somalia who travel in gangs and use automatic weapons to rob, attack & kill both the rich and poor without shame.


These are not men of adventure nor the legendary characters that have parrots perched on their shoulders that we have read about in the glory years at all. Not even a pale comparison to them.

Just organized gang members and thugs using the sea as the vehicle for their crimes and murdering any individuals who choose to get in their way.

And how is the international community standing up to these cowardly pirates, you may ask?

Apparently by doing almost nothing aside from meekly advising all vessels to avoid the known 'hotspots' where the pirates operate. That's it. Dick!

This is just another huge indicator on how weak the world has become on crime in modern times. We do nothing and hope those who profit from their crimes will one day 'see the light' and give up their wicked ways all together.

Of course I have an alternative theory on how to deal with these gutless criminals. If they want to play the pirate game, they need to pay the pirate price. We need to fight them on their own terms.

Their boats should be boarded and sunk and any members found onboard could be severely beaten and then either imprisoned or hanged publicly from the tallest yardarm - Rule of the Sea.

Or what about making a few of them 'walk the good old gang plank'....do that a couple times and the dastardly swines will run for cover & disappear forever, those that have not already become shark bait, that is.

Perhaps we could even incorporate modern times somewhere in the process and make a little web cast pay per view out of these activities, I know I would watch it. Damn, I would even gladly subscribe to a monthly 'feed' !!

Remember in the known history of the world, we have never had Somalia pirates in the past - Wonder why ? Have they now just become so far advanced & sophisticated today or maybe are we are just becoming really way too soft on crime, and they know it.

And while we continue to be soft on crime, a whole new generation is growing up thinking that pirates are just a bunch of dirty thieving cowards. How sad.

I hope when I see Mikey and his friends on 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' next month that they will be using true phrases like 'Ahoy' and 'Avast Ye Matey' and not speaking fluent Somalian to one another.

Arrrrrrrgh!