Phasers on Stun

After four full long days of endless business meetings & some pretty crappy hotel food, I was quite excited to head back home to Calgary, albeit only for this weekend as I am expected to return to Toronto again next week for more of the same.

Arriving at the airport rather early, I immediately check in my bags and wandered around for a bit, waiting for my flight to be announced.

Now this is definitely not a pastime I would recommend as a person can only meander around, drink coffee and read the newspaper so many times before beginning to go a little stir crazy.

Picking up the paper for like the millionth time, I spot an interesting news story about folks being robbed while waiting in line to get the much sought after Sony Playstation 3.

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel. It is ingenious. Think about it.

These pencil neck geek gamers who spend every waking hour of their miserable and misbegotten existence in front of a monitor playing video games, finally have to go outside and emerge from their dark cold existence to brave the real world & spend their petty savings on the next latest and greatest machine.

These individuals are very easy to spot once they are out of their natural habitat (undoubtedly that being their parents basement) as their combined muscle mass is probable equivalent to a small Chihuahua or Pomeranian and they are extremely pasty white in appearance - much like that of a leper.

So here they all are lining up in front of some Walmart store at 3 AM on a very cold November morning, dressed in either their Spiderman or Star Trek pyjamas, when a couple of robbers arrive on the scene.


Now these robbers are not the usual variety of mindless idiots, no way. These ones are pretty damn intelligent since they have put some thought into their quest and know that there is absolutely no way anyone in the line will put up a fight of any kind when confronted.

They are also aware that the majority of them have at least $500 in cash on them since these geeks are a super paranoid bunch where owning a credit card is like demanding your identity be stolen. I mean after all, the nerd discussion board continually warns of the dangers of credit cards and identity theft for months, it is undoubtedly a 'sticky post'.

I can just picture these robbers just sauntering up to the first nerd in line unarmed, and just demanding his wallet which is immediately handed over, no questions asked.

As they pick up Joe Nerd to shake out any extra hidden cash he may still have, a deafening squeal emanates from him much like the high pitch tone of a small toy poodle.

"Spock, Spock Help me." He pleads whiningly, looking behind him at the other nerds in the line-up for some kind of assistance. "Spock, give them your Vulcan Death Grip."

Of course none of the other nerds will assist poor feeble Joe and they all look down at their wool slippers refusing to even make any eye contact for fear they may be next.

Joe Nerd finally realizes that there is no Spock to assist him, so he immediately cries out for his next brave senior officer, that of course being Number One.

Sadly, the only Number One that he is going to be seeing on this cold unfortunate night is the one he has just performed in his wet pyjamas due to extreme fear.

C'mon it's funny. We are all thinking it. Just admit it !

The only thing sad about this entire hypothetical story is that in reading over the above, I seem to have way too much conversational knowledge about the Star Trek series and its' characters.

Now that is quite unsettling for me and kind of a little sad.

Damn, I wish this flight would board as now I really need a drink.