It was last Sunday and as usual, I was over at my folks place. We had just finished a fantastic dinner and were now all sitting & relaxing in the living room having coffee.

The TV news was just doing a follow up story on the woman that was having a face transplant operation as a result of a vicious attack on her by a neighbors chimpanzee.
( you can read the original entire story HERE )

Mom stood up and announced she was going into the kitchen to do the washing up.

"That's a horrible story we just saw on the news. That poor woman having to go through all of that. It's terrible. Who would think that those chimps could be so vicious?" Mom remarked as she left the room.

"Not entirely surprising." I observed, sipping my coffee. "That woman should have known better then to go near him. Any idiot would know how dangerous they could be by watching just one 'Planet of the Apes' movie.

"It's not her fault." Sis responded. "You heard the story, it wasn't even her chimp, it was her friends. A family pet named Travis that she raised from a baby. It was a total surprise attack & unprovoked."

"I heard the announcer say that the owner played and even bathed with this animal for years." I replied, rather repulsed at the very idea. "Quite disgusting, I'd say. But that's enough provocation for that animal if you are looking for some."

"Anyway, I'm just saying. These animals cannot be trusted." I continued. "I don't care how long she owned the thing. Are you sure it's name was Travis and not Cornelius or perhaps maybe even Dr. Zeus?"

Dad curiously turned to the two of us and focused his attention on our conversation after hearing my last point.

"What's he going on about now? Who is this Dr. Zeus?" Dad asked.

"He's talking about that idiotic Planet of the Apes Movie again, Dad." Sis explained, rolling her eyes. "Comparing the movie to this horrible tragic story we just saw on the news. He's brainless."

"What!" Dad exclaimed. "That stupid science fiction crap about monkeys! He watched that movie over and over years ago when he was just a kid. Always talking about it back then. Thought he would have grown up by now."

"It's about apes, Dad. Not monkeys." I replied, attempting to clarify the point. "Apes. Planet of the APES. There were a few sequels as well. It was a classic movie."

"It was classic crap if you ask me." Dad responded harshly. "I couldn't even sit through the original movie - damn foolish."

With that, Dad got up muttering he had heard enough 'nonsense' for one evening and took himself and his newspaper out into the kitchen to join Mom.

"See!" Sis turned to me. "Even Dad is sick of listening to you and your stupid theories about Planet of the Apes. You know it was just a movie, don't you - it's not real."

"I was just pointing out the similarities is all." I responded, defending my position. "Forewarned is forearmed. But if you think you know better and don't want to listen or believe me, just ask Charlton Heston."

"Charlton Heston?" Sis responded inquisitively. "He's dead."

"My point exactly." I replied.


Anonymous said...

Funny!! You're a good writer.

Paul Eilers said...

Ha! Ha! Ha!

And including the picture is hilarious!

You should think about doing stand up comedy.


Eat Well. Live Well.

Julia said...

Now that's the way to spin a brutal attack into a humorous antidote. Cheers!

beth said...

I got stuck on the picture; Heston surely resembles the monkeys, sorry, I mean the apes

Anonymous said...

It is Dr. Zaius - not Dr. Zeus....... obviously you had too much to drink when you were watching....

Anonymous said...

Don't back down!

When you're right, you're right!

zorlone said...

This is a good post! Smart and funny. A bit Jerry Seinfeld-ish.

Anonymous said...

If you have feces - now is the time to fling it!

john said...

this was funny

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