We hadn't been back to this downtown nightclub for a long time, probably at least a year or more, although it is still known as a great place to meet people and have a good time.

It really had not changed too much in that time, except tonight I somehow felt a little off. Something was different. The music seemed louder, I felt older and the other customers who were wondering around all seemed to look on the young side, too young.

I looked over at my buddy John, who appeared rather restless. He yelled to me, over the loud music "We should get the Hell out of here and go back to the pub, this ain't my scene anymore, I hate this place."

"What are you talking about?" I responded. "The place is great, we just need a couple drinks to get use to it and settle back in."

I then noticed the same girl who had been 'checking me out' earlier once again look over in our direction and give me a broad smile. She was definitely very attractive.

"The place is way too young tonight for us." John replied quickly. "Plus you do recall I have a gorgeous girlfriend, so I'm not looking for anything here."

"Yes, Yes" I responded. "I know you & Dawn Marie are still together, relax I'm thinking more about myself then about you right now anyway. Check out that tall blonde who has been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes. She's pretty hot!"

John was quiet for a moment as his gaze fell on to group of girls and the tall blonde who had been making eye contact earlier. She still continued to stare over.

"Looks like a real 'skank' to me." John declared decisively. "You'll probably catch something off that one if you get too close."

I think John must have just been in a lousy mood because this girl was clearly not a skank. Not at all. Well, 'Skank-alicious' maybe !! Before I could correct John on things & set him straight, the blonde and one of her friends, a shorter and attractive brunette, began walking towards us.

The girls boldly introduced themselves to us, which was great! The tall leggy blonde was named Terri and the cute brunette was Fiona. They both worked in a bank downtown and seemed very interested in learning more about both John and myself.

We all quickly grabbed a round of drinks and continued to get to know one another a bit better. John was pretty quiet and looking kind of bored but I don't think the girls noticed as I was completely entertaining them with my humorous stories and sparkling wit.

"Hey, do you guys want to come out to my car and smoke a joint?" Terri suddenly asked, first looking over at John and then me. "I've got some really great stuff."

Before John could respond to this, I quickly jumped into the conversation in my best 'damage control' mode.

"Ummm" I began. "I probably should have let you ladies know that John is a cop with the Calgary Police Service. He's not into that or any illegal habits."

Fiona immediately looked scared and then mortified at my revelation. Terri however did not flinch and stared directly at John without blinking, flashing a gorgeous smile .

"So John" Terri began, in a very seductive tone. "Are you going to arrest me....or something.... ?"

John met the stare directly & looked back at her unfazed.

Finally he dryly replied "How about I don't ask you to give me a bank loan on your night off and you don't ask me to arrest you on mine?"

Fiona responded with a very uncomfortable and nervous laugh which sounded somewhat similar to a cat if you had accidentally stepped on its' tail. It was really annoying.

Terri however remained determined and replied "Are you sure about that Johnny, because I am kind of looking forward to the handcuffs."

John just smiled at that comment which he had heard numerous times over the years. Still, the gorgeous Terri, was not blinking.

There was now some uncomfortable silence between all of us at this point. Finally after a few seconds, John replied.

"I have to get going soon anyway, got to go visit the girlfriend." John finally announced. "But my buddy here will take great care of you two ladies."

That statement seemed to have a strange effect on both of the girls as their eyes began to once again look around the nightclub as if they were searching for something or someone.

What luck, I thought silently to myself. I can easily have a good time with both of these gorgeous women. Things are definitely looking 'up'!

"Yeah, I'm pretty much free this evening" I eagerly declared to them, sounding rather pleased with myself. "And I'm looking for something fun to do!"

"Good luck with that" Terri responded coldly, as both her and Fiona immediately turned and wandered off, disappearing into the crowd of people.

I looked over at John and he had a huge grin on his face as if he was about to burst out laughing.

"Probably Damn Lesbians" I proclaimed loudly as I gulped down the final remains of my Guinness. "There's no other explanation for it."

"Keep telling yourself that buddy" John laughed. "It makes it easier to accept or so I'm told."

"I hate this place." I responded angrily, as we both began walking towards the exit. "Lets head over to the pub. Damn Lesbians!"


BK said...

Probably you were slightly drunk and you didn't hear them correctly. :)

Man Over Board said...

Damn Lesbians, LOL. Sorry about your night out. Benn there done that. Just got to get back on the horse and ride it again.

Bonehead said...

Very funny story - sorry you missed out on the weed ;)

Barbi said...

too funny! I'm going to keep reading!

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