This Road

My head was pounding and it took me quite a few seconds to focus and get accustomed to the morning brightness, as I lay in bed Saturday morning. I glanced over at my clock and it was displaying 12:05. Ok, damn, I guess it is 'technically' Saturday afternoon.

What a night! Well the parts I remember, anyway. There seems to be a few gaps in my memory but I am sure those will fill in as this day begins.

Friday night was my last official day of work here in Calgary, so my staff and a few friends took me out to celebrate and say goodbye and I obviously dived into these celebrations with a great passion.

I recall having shooter after shooter, beer, ciders, mixed drinks and everything else. My goal was to be able to consume every drink on the menu from a B-52 to a Zombie, with everything in between. I am not sure how far I got through the menu but during the evening I am sure I entertained, disgusted and propositioned quite a number of individuals along the way. (both intentionally and unintentionally!)

Hmm, sometimes it's better not to remember !!

The evening started out quiet enough. Just before meeting everyone down at the pub, I dropped off a few more boxes at my folks to store, and went inside to chat with Mom and Dad for a bit.

While sitting in the living room with Dad, he ordered me to toss him the remote as he wanted to watch some old war movie on TV.

Without thinking (or aiming) I threw it over at him, it hit him on his shoulder and bounced off, crashing into Mom's favourite glass ornament - some ballerina dancer, breaking it into a number of pieces.

"Now you've done it, boy." Dad exclaimed gleefully, rubbing his hands together. "You've gone and broken your poor Mothers favourite antique ornament, she is going to be furious."

"But it was an accident Dad." I responded, somewhat taken aback by his bizarre happy tone. "You were here & saw the whole thing."

"What I saw, was you getting me out of the doghouse with your Mother." Dad responded happily.

"Last week I accidentally broke that damn ugly vase she had sitting in the kitchen and she has been angry all week with me. This was her favourite ornament in the entire house and now you and your clumsy ways will make her forget all about that ugly vase I broke. She is really going to hate you. Let me just call her in here so she can survey all your damage."

Before I could respond, Dad jumped up & was calling Mom into the living room, pointing a crooked finger at the little ornament which was lying in pieces on the side table.

"That clumsy boy of yours threw the remote control at me for no apparent reason and look what he has done." Dad explained rather eagerly to Mom. "I honestly think he did it on purpose, if I didn't know better. Not an accident at all from the looks of it. Look at our lovely ornament, destroyed. I know it was your favourite, and mine too."

As I sat there bewildered by Dad's terrible acting and obvious web of lies, I kind of wondered if Mom would be taken in by it for even a minute. I mean it was a rather lame attempt at getting himself back in favour with her, but she is a very forgiving and tolerant person. She has to be I guess, seeing that she has been married to Dad for over 50+ years.

Mom came over and sat down beside me. Picking up the broken ornament, she looked over and quietly asked if this is what happened.

"Well partially, Mom." I responded slowly. I did throw the remote and hit it, but Dad asked me to throw it to him and technically it did touch him last before hitting the ornament."

Mom looked at me and then gave me a rather big hug.

"Well it's only broken glass." Mom responded kindly. "Nothing to worry about, son. I know you are leaving in under two weeks and this is the time when family should enjoy one another and not be squabbling over something silly like broken glass. Don't give it another thought."

I was quite relieved by my Mom's comments and I could tell by the expression on Dad's face that he realized his ridiculous plan to 'get out of the doghouse' had failed miserably.

Mom then stood up and turned to Dad.

"And as for you, Simon." She began firmly. "It appears that you are just 'ringing up the charges' with all the items you are breaking around this house this last couple of weeks. Your feeble attempts at denial & blaming your children or the dog will no longer be tolerated. You are going to start making amends for your ways beginning tonight. You can take us all out to dinner at that new steak house over by the mall. You know the one. The brand new and VERY expensive steak house."

Dad looked livid at the proposition, but he knew he was beaten. He just muttered something under his breath and then responded "Yes, Dear."

I figured that this was the perfect time to chime in.

"Thanks for the offer for dinner, but I am being taken out for drinks by my staff at work." I advised. "But being that I will probably be drinking quite a bit, I won't be driving so perhaps Dad can give me a ride to the pub on your way out to dinner?

Dad even looked more agitated by my request but before he could respond anything to the negative, Mom quickly interjected.

"Well of course, dear." She replied. "Your father would love to give you a ride, we can all have a nice chat on the way. And your father will even give you a little money for taxi fare to get home later tonight, since you won't have your car. Isn't that right, Simon?

"Yes, Dear." Dad responded, sounding completely beaten as he reluctantly handed me twenty bucks.

***** now after almost 3 years of blogging, the time has come to finally say goodbye.

Damn it, I still have so much more to write, but no more time to do so.

It has definitely been kinda cool writing about my life and sometimes insane adventures and then reading your feedback. I would recommend it to any of the folks who are considering entering the blogging world.

I have found it like anything else in life, the amount of effort you put into it is the amount you get out of it. (damn, that really sounds like my Dad talking...sorry!).

As you all know by now I have accepted a job position in London, England which I will be starting in just under 2 weeks. It is a fantastic career opportunity which I could not turn down.

I figure I can either continue to write about my dull everyday routine in life or start experiencing a new one. The choice for me was obvious, albeit difficult.

It is certainly going to be a big change for me. Not only giving up the regular routine which I have grown clearly 'way too comfortable in', but also having to say goodbye to some very good friends as well as my parents, sister, niece and nephew. Not easy, believe me!

I guess I also should say goodbye to all of my regular blog readers and also thank you for your comments, support and general attention over the past years. It has been great fun. Thanks!

OK, that's it. The best goodbyes are always the short goodbyes. So until we meet again, take care.

Keep visiting once in awhile, you never know, after a few months when I am all settled in, I may turn up once again!




Anonymous said...

It's been less than a year since I discovered your blog and I enjoyed reading every single entry. You have a great talent for writing and a very interesting family life to say the least. :D Even if you resume blogging, I will miss the stories involving your mom, dad, sister and everyone else.

Nevertheless, I hope you will find the time to blog again very soon. Oh c'mon, you will feel a desperate NEED to share all the things with us that are happening in your "new life". :)

In the meantime, I wish you all the best for the new career and do enjoy London! It's expensive, but an incredible experience. And do jet over to all the other European cities close by, like Berlin. Who knows, I might pass you on the street someday, not knowing it is you. ;)

See you soon.

Anonymous said...


Blueyes said...

I think we need to put up a petition to keep this going. I'd write about my family but they know my web address. Guess I need to come up with some insane so they won't figure it out because they are insane and with my BIL just finally getting out of my place I have loads of stuff to spew..

Cara said...

This is the first post of yours I've read and I liked it. I'm kinda upset there will be no more entries.

Pandora Wilde said...

It blows that you must go, much like Walter's Beer in its time. But unlike Walter's Beer, you can always come back to the blog. And we'd be missing much more not having you than the world does now that Walter's Beer isn't made anymore.

Gah, that stuff SO sucked!

LJP said...

I'm with Cara - I have just discovered your blog and now...gone?!?!? :-( *sniff*

Anonymous said...

WHAT!?! Oh no Mr. That's not it! It's not like England is a 3rd world country that doesn't have internet! You can STILL post your weekly life escapades. Just tell us all about your fabulous tales of Jolly Ole' England. Please and Thank you! :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I guess I've arrived too late!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

You should join AA.

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