The Beat Goes On

My sister had just finished reading yet another article from the National Enquirer about Chastity Bono planning to have a sex change. ( You can read the story HERE )

The 40-year-old lesbian activist, who is the only child of Sonny & Cher, is already taking hormone shots and is on her way to becoming a male.

"Well good for him, Chaz is a person of true conviction." Sis said, as she put down the gossip rag, which she undoubtedly considers as being great literature.

"Why are your referring to HER as a HIM? And also what do you mean 'good for him', it's bloody digusting if you ask me. " I replied, once again flabbergasted at my slow-witted sisters stupid opinions.

"There's nothing disgusting about it." Sis responded defiantly. "Chaz has lived his entire life as a gay woman and this is simply a natural progression."

"Natural" I retorted loudly. "There is nothing natural about having some freak surgery and taking drugs in order to change your gender. And while we are on the subject, why are you calling her Chaz, that's a guys name?"

"That's the name he goes by now as after the hormone therapy and operation he will soon be a man." Sis responded, actually believing the nonsense she had just read.

I stared at her for a moment in silence without responding further to her last comment. "Am I even related to this complete moron", was all I could think of.

I then looked over at Dad who was completely absorbed with his newspaper and clearly not listening to our conversation. Finally I spoke.

"Closer to Frankenstein's monster than a man" I began. "Just because she is no longer 'strapping it on' but rather having IT either 'sewn on', 'glued on' or however the HELL they do it these days does not suddenly make her a man in any sense of the term. The entire society is going crazy with things these days, everybody doing whatever they want. It's against nature."

"HAHA" Sis responded in her usual childish and annoying manner. "Your views are so completely outdated, now you are really sounding like Dad."

Finally my father's newspaper folded up with a loud noise and Dad placed it on the side table. The last comment obviously got his attention.

"What are you two going on about now?" Dad demanded. "And what do you mean my views are outdated?"

I quickly recounted the story which I have outlined above, knowing for sure Dad would certainly side with me on such a controversial topic.

"Yes, I recall reading about this just the other day." Dad observed. "That sweet little girl was on her parents TV program each week."

" The parents looked like long-haired drug addicts. Probably is the cause for this poor child's mental problems now. Didn't raise her right. Of course I never watched the program much, but your mother enjoyed it at the time. As for me I couldn't tell which one was the husband and which one was the wife. Give me Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin any day over those two drug addicts. I'd wager nothing much ever became of any of them."

"There is nothing wrong with him now." Sis responded angrily. "Chaz is not mental, this is a personal choice and I support him."

"It's not natural" was all Dad replied as he once again picked up his newspaper that indicated he had now lost interest in the topic of conversation and would no longer participate.

"See, I told you." Sis began. "Dad responded exactly as you did. He even used the same phrase. You two are identical."

"We may be identical" I replied quickly. "But more importantly, we are both correct. It is unnatural what SHE is doing to HERself."

I then turned to Dad and joked. "Can you imagine them doing that in any of those old westerns you watch. Strapping on some kind of sick, perverted device and then doing their filthy 'acts' to one another."

Dad once again put down the paper.

"As I recall, the only thing 'The Duke' - John Wayne ever strapped on was a six-shooter." Dad replied, chuckling aloud. "But when he did, he really meant business and wasn't shooting any blanks, let me tell you."

Both Dad and myself then roared out with laughter as Sis slowly slinked out of the room, shaking her head in disgust.

She is such a foolish girl.


Jena Isle said...

I didn't know there are those who still believe it is unnatural. Good post.

sterndal said...

hi! this post is very interesting. but what really caught my attention is the title of the blog. slightly drunk is very original :) good work!

starlit said...

very funny quote ... hehe

i just hope that mosquito is still alive today :)


Unknown said...

it's a personal choice and doesn't affect anyone else. what difference is it really going to make to any of us? none...

Kevenj said...

Good Day SD!

Good post but I'm with PJ.

Personally if I was an idiotic fundamentalist Baptist moronic Christian I would say "She" had the "Devil" in her.
I might have said that just a few years ago. {{Sigh}}. We all grow up sometimes.

If I am not mistaken, Sonny became the mayor of Palm Springs then was assassinated just a few years ago.
The parents do not seem like drug addict scum but smart intellectual individuals.
Could it be that 'She' was a 'he' in a recently former life and could not dismiss this with an immediate birthtime?
Yes, reincarnation. There are numerous proofs, and no, I am not gay or bi.

Anonymous said...

To Kevin John: Sonny Bono died in a skiing accident.

Anonymous said...

lol. i guess you need to explain and cite examples of "natural".

askcherlock said...

Great post! This one really made me laugh. How many families have similar conversations? It happens in mine for sure, but you really captured it.

James said...

Awesome! I agree with YOU 100%! Bless your sister's heart, and all that, but if God created her a 'her', which He did, then she is in no way a flippin' HE!
Rock on, Brother!

Jude said...

I enjoy reading your posts and hadn't realized you had been MIA till I saw your card sorry about that.

I personally don't care what anyone chooses to do with their bodies so long as they don't take it upon themselves to harm others. Really don't know what I'd think though if my brother chose to become a woman, it might be a little freaky, but if it made him happy I'd deal.

Lots of weird stuff going on in the world so I just try to take it in stride.

Jenera said...

Great post!

Jude said...

@ desperate blogger who are you to say what a mistake is? You read the bible, but does that make you or anyone else an expert? Perfect god? God makes no mistakes so in his wisdom is it for you to decide for anyone other than yourself what a mistake might or not be.

-t- said...

Congratulations for receiving affirmation from the church friends of your mom. ;)

Gender reassignment is "unnatural" depending on what you define as "natural".

People who undergo this treatment obviously feel like they are caught in the wrong body, which for them is unnatural.

But of course they are wrong because God doesn't make any mistakes, right?

Well, does he?

I assume that there is a general agreement among everyone, that if for example a baby had a disease, doctors should help cure and rescue the child. If you don't agree consider yourself an extremist, fundamental or whatever moron.

Now lets assume the child was born with a genetic or developmental defect that can be corrected, e.g. a cleft palate. Should the child suffer and live to be excluded from society because it is different? Of course not! After all the defect can easily be corrected.

But what if God doesn't make mistakes? Hm... Maybe God doesn't want doctors to help the child. Maybe God is very upset with humans for helping each other and trying to make everyone feel better. Damn!

Maybe you all should quit taking any pills and going to the doctor in the first place. Throw away those pills, your glasses, your prostheses, your implants, your pacemakers. No more antibiotics, removal of carcinomas, organ transplants, you name it.

God wants you to suffer and die quickly because God needs to see you immediately. Apparently, there are important matters God needs to discuss with you.

I hope SHE will tell you to be more respectful of other people and their feelings, whether or not you consider them natural. ;)

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