Lyin' Eyes

I really hate Jon & Kate.

Never met them and undoubtedly never will. Still hate them.

I think I probably hate the kids too - all 8 of them. Not completely sure on that point though, they seem ok on the TV show however if they are the spawn of the aforementioned Jon & Kate - I hate them.

You see all the over-exposure in the media has really pissed me off. Up until just a few weeks I had never even heard of these people - not until the press had made it their primary goal to report on these peoples' every monotonous movement.

So now I think that I pretty much know every detail about this horribly dysfunctional family and unfortunately that is way too much information for my liking.

The reason I am bringing this up today is we just had a long weekend where they had a Jon & Kate 'marathon' playing episode after episode on TV of this horrible, mindless tripe.

I was over at my folks place on Sunday evening for dinner and Dad commented that he was both happy & relieved that Mom had actually found a few minutes away from the TV to throw a dinner together as she had been 'glued in front of the damn TV watching that crap for most of the day.'

Actually my mother watches the show (Jon & Kate plus 8) religiously each week. It is apparently one of her favourites for some reason that I cannot comprehend, as I always thought of Mom as being pretty smart.

These days however Mom is not so fond of the show now that Jon & Kate are getting a divorce and the family will be split up.

"Those poor young children" Mom lamented after the marathon had ended. "Whatever will they do without both parents being around them? They need a strong family at their impressionable ages."

I really didn't have the heart to tell her that the show is almost all completely fake. I mean, c'mon:
  • the show is filmed in advance and they are hinting at divorce but fail to actually file until the same day as the show is aired - coincidental timing indeed!
  • in-laws of the family have been stating for months that incidents, activities and even dialogue is scripted in order to deliver a consistently interesting program to the viewer each week
  • they actually did TV promos about 'changes' weeks before the divorce show or even mention of a possible separation
  • in the divorce papers filed by Kate, it claims she and husband Jon have been living "separate and apart" for at least two years, yet that is not what they portrayed on their show
That should give almost anyone a clue that 'what they see is not entirely the truth'. So much for the 'reality' portion of reality television.

The parents are making some sweet cash of reportedly around $70k each per show....the kids make dick, nada, diddley...even though they are the core reason everyone tunes in and also they do a lot of announcing & openings on the show.

So even though all these 'supposed problems' are going on, the show has been picked up for a couple more seasons. Lets hope they go towards a new direction and become remotely truthful, or at the very least - more interesting.

If they are looking for a few new ideas to get started, how about:
  • now single, Jon returns home from his upscale New York bachelor apartment accompanied by his new girlfriend Bambi, the crack whore. He immediately attempts to convince the children that Kate is dead and Bambi is their new mother. Between Bambi's street smarts & savvy disposition only hilarity can ensue.
  • a cross-over show with the caustic Judge Judy who gives them 10 minutes in her court to agree on how to divide the marital assets and children. Any complaints or back talk from the outspoken hag, Kate, is to be swiftly dealt with by Byrd (the bailiff) who will open up a can of 'whoop-ass' on her sorry, middle-aged self
  • Jon actually grows a spine (and a pair) and is no longer acting like the subservient houseboy - Hop-sing, as he has in the previous seasons and finally stands up to the domineering shrew Kate.
  • The show hires Octomom, Nadya Suleman and changes the name to John, Kate & Octoqueen plus 16
I mean none of these are terribly brilliant ideas however each one is far more entertaining then the fake crap we are seeing today. I am sure each of you reading this could also come up with some good suggestions for the show.

So enough of this phoney, staged and rehearsed 'so-called' reality show.

If I wanted to watch fake crap with people yelling, arguing and fighting, I would tune into wrestling or even worse, start following politics.


Mary said...

I agree with you fully. Love your blog.

Julia said...

I never liked the show in the few glimpses I caught when we were first blessed with it's appearance. Actually I thought Kate was a bitch back then...

Kate Burton said...

I'm with you. Then I found out they were being paid $75,000 dollars per episode and I really was sick

Patricia Rockwell said...

Although I really like a lot of reality TV, this is one show I never cared for. It does seem very exploitative.

Cher Duncombe said...

You said it. These people stink! They really are exploiting their kids and though I have never watched a single episode, it seems I can't escape their photos while I am standing in a super market check out line. I read the Family Services is looking into whether child labor laws have been violated. I hope they have to spend every last dime on legal costs. That would be poetic justice for these morons.

Robin said...

As far as I'm concerned all of these so-called "reality" shows are a bunch of crap!

I like your ideas for the direction this show should take in the new season .. it would certainly be more entertaining!


Anji said...

Thank God it hasn't been translated into French yet. I'll take this as a warning to avoid it if it ever is.

nipsy said...

I have hated this show since I first heard about it..Why the hell should a couple get money just for being lucky enough to have more eggs fertilize than me? Hell, I've got three kids and I did it all on my own, wheres my reality show??

The BoBo said...

I'm an American Chopper fan. I never watched Kate + 8. However, there was a two-part special with American Chopper and that show. God, that woman is a total witch. I felt really sorry for her husband. In any case - I can definitely say I am glad I never watched that show.

Tina T said...

The whole Jon and Kate thing is very strange. I haven't watched the show, but I seem to see enough clips from it that I can easily piece it together.

I love your suggestions for spicing up the show. I have noticed that Kate's appearance has been steadily going down hill, so maybe at some point Kate will get one of those reality show makeovers (maybe to help her find a replacement for Jon) to add another story line. You never know.

Sandy said...

Thankfully I can say I've never supported that type of stupid TV, or any other "reality" show. Reality...the people who put these pathetic shows together need a dictionary, nothing about these put up shows resembles reality. Troubles me so many watch them. I vote with my remote. I turn it off.

You might be doing your mom a favor to explain how fake it all is. Then she couldn't be dupped futher.

Then there's all the overboard news of MJ too, I'm sick and tired of hearing about that as well.

The Bee said...

Well I'll go ahead and be the sucker that admits to watching the show. I gotta say though I watched it way before all this "divorce" hype and it was a much better show back then.

How can you say you hate the kids? They had nothing to do with the decision to be on t.v.

Bradley said...

I have never agreed with something this much in my whole life.

Anonymous said...

hi... just dropping by!

Canucklehead said...

Having just saw a picture of Jon's new girlfriend (don't ask) I would say that 'crack whore' is not that far off - you may be on to something. I try to avoid the show at all costs but have seen just enough to ascertain that she is a c*nt and he is a spineless punk. So, well wait - maybe I can relate after all?

/off to rethink life ...

Staci said...

I love your ideas for upcoming shows. I might actually start back watching it then. Personally, I'm under the opinion that the whole thing has been orchestrated for ratings and to increase book sales on Kate's next book. Another season from now, and they'll be getting back together just for ratings' and sequel's sakes.

I swear those two get more coverage these days than Brad and Angelina. The only person who gets more coverage than them is Michael Jackson, and he had to die to get that.

Celeb Girlz said...

Seriously! I had never heard of these very sad and extremely pathetic people until the tabs and trash TV suddenly had them everywhere, everyday, all the time. The only interesting bit at all is the "dirty" girl Jon has apparently hooked up with. That's gonna be ugly... in a fun way!

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